Review: Super Meat Boy (XBLA)

The 'bloodiest" T-rated game you will ever play. I like the color of blood... it's also the color of sausage.

Super Meat Boy is an "F" you type of game. It will be "fun for you," or "frustrating for you." If you happen to be me, Super Meat Boy will magically "F" you twice with his meat; I found the game both fun and frustrating.

My frustration stems from one key issue: the controls. The controls are not terrible by any means; they feel good most of the time, but I do find them occasionally imprecise. I may desire to jump at a specific time, only to see Mr. Meat run right into a pool of death. This doesn't happen all the time, but in a game that is all about precision and timing; a lack of precision, at any time, is a problem.

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Review: Hydrophobia (XBLA)

There is plenty of water to be found in Hydrophobia... you won't have to worry about staying hydrated. I'm sorry.

Hydrophobia is a puzzle/action game for Xbox LIVE Arcade with a heavy emphasis on water, if that wasn't obvious from the title. Hydrophobia was never on my radar prior to actually playing it, and now I know the reason; it is not a very good game.

I had no expectations, which makes it a sad situation that Hydrophobia could not even reach my non-existent expectations. The game takes place in an underwater facility called 'The Queen of the World,' which may be a terribly unfunny call to James Cameron and Titanic, or I could simply be stretching. The story takes place over three horribly paced acts in which you play as security engineer, Kate Wilson. The first act is basically a long tutorial, the second is a bloated mess that never seems to end, and the third and final act ends sooner than expected. I won't spoil anything - not that there's much to spoil - but the ending actually made me like the game even less.

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Club Nintendo 2010 Platinum and Gold Rewards revealed

I wasn't a Club Nintendo Platinum member in 2009 - I wasn't even a Gold member - but I have managed to reach this somewhat sad (?) status in 2010 and I am quite the happy camper. The Club Nintendo year has officially ended and the rewards for both Platinum and Gold members are live for redemption.

2009 saw a Mario hat or a Doc Louis downloadable game for Platinum members and a calendar for Gold members. I will say, I was a bit jealous of the Mario hat despite not being his biggest fan. I don't know why, but there was just something cool about it. But, if I had to choose between hitting the Platinum status in 2009 or 2010; I would choose 2010 in a heartbeat. 2010 Platinum members will be rewarded with a statuette featuring all the classic Mario characters. It's simply awesome and something I actually wouldn't mind placing on a shelf for all to see.

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Review: Snoopy Flying Ace (XBLA)

Snoopy Flying Ace is the best arcade air combat game since Crimson Skies. And, it may actually be better. Don't let the Peanuts license scare you off; Snoopy, Charlie Brown, and all of their friends have little to do with the actual game. You may find a tad more enjoyment if you are a Peanuts fan, but coming from someone who couldn't care less about the license (aka moi), the game is just pure fun.

Flying Ace does play very similar to the old Crimson Skies games, but I actually believe it plays better; however, I haven't played a Crimson Skies game in quite some time. The controls are easy to learn and yes, easy to master. It is really nice to see a flight game with controls that don't get overly complicated with controller inputs that don't feel natural; Dark Void says, "howdy partner." Please don't ask why Dark Void talks with a southern twist.

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Review: Zeno Clash: Ultimate Edition (XBLA)

• Game: Zeno Clash: Ultimate Edition
• Developer: ACE Team
• Price: 1200MS Points ($15.00)
• Release Date: 05/05/2010

Zeno Clash: Ultimate Edition is not new – it released for PC over a year ago without the “Ultimate” tagline – but it just came out on XBLA with extra content and it is unique if nothing else. Zeno Clash is a first-person brawler/shooter with the teeter-totter tipping in the direction of brawling. The Ultimate Edition adds new modes and weapons, but the thing that drew me in was nothing new; the art style is both beautiful and disturbing.

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5 Reasons to Thank Xbox

The original Xbox launched on November 15, 2001. The system has not seen a new release in almost two years, but Xbox Live continued to thrive and Halo 2 players acted as if next-gen never happened. All things must come to an end and now, Xbox Live support for Xbox and Xbox originals is officially dead and the system is barely more than a paperweight. This is not a moment of sadness, but a moment to look back at what the Xbox did for gaming. So, in no particular order, I give you five reasons to thank the Xbox.

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The Sausage Dump: New and Improved - More Sausage

You may have noticed that things have been quiet on the ‘Sausage of Pixelation’ recently. This is due to my departure from Distributed Failure and crunch-time at school. But, the biggest reason for the lack of content is due to the birthing of a new podcast of my own: The Sausage Dump. Yes, that is the name of an old podcast about everything but video games. But, since I am a God, I have turned The Sausage Dump into a podcast all about video games.

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Play N Trade: Selling Games on CD-R

Gamestop is the recipient of much hate and I can understand said hate, but at least they are noble enough to not sell an illegal burned copy of a game. I went to a Play N Trade today – I honestly never heard of the chain prior to this day – and I was initially impressed with the layout, but the prices on newer games were not particularly desirable. I did, however, find a copy of Power Stone 2 [best 3D fighter in the history of all that is sweet and holy] in what seemed to be good condition for $14.99 [if it is too good to be true, it usually is].

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Matt Hazard: Blood Bath and Beyond (XBLA) Review

• Game: Matt Hazard: Blood Bath and Beyond
• Developer: Vicious Cycle Software, Inc.
• Price: 1200MS Points ($15.00)
• Release Date: 1/6/2010

Matt Hazard: Blood Bath and Beyond is the game we wanted from Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard. Eat Lead was not a terrible game – the writing could be quite funny – but it never lived up to its potential [it had Doogie Howser, Doogie!]. Blood Bath and Beyond tops the first game on all levels with its consistently funny writing and the fact it is actually fun to play.

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Perfect Dark (XBLA) Review

• Game: Perfect Dark
• Developer: 4J Studios
• Price: 800MS Points ($10.00)
• Release Date: 3/17/2010

I never played Perfect Dark when it originally came out back in 2000. I never owned a Nintendo 64 and therefore; I have no pleasant memories of playing Perfect Dark as a wee boy. I have spent a lot of time with the game and it seems rather obvious that nostalgic memories are key to enjoying the game. It is not a terrible game, but when comparing it to games coming out nowadays – which fans will frown upon as unfair – Perfect Dark falls behind and feels far too dated.

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