Rogue Warrior (X360) Review
Marc Kusnierz | Thursday, December 17, 2009 at 3:30PM 
I did my best to censor the dialogue for all the little boys and girls out there...
- Game: Rogue Warrior
- Developer: Rebellion Developments
- Price: $59.99 (Buy it)
- Release Date: 12/1/2009
“Suck my balls, my hairy fucking big balls. Wrap ‘em around your fucking mouth.” That quote pretty much sums up the entirety of Rogue Warrior. It’s absolutely ridiculous and definitely not for children or the faint of heart. Is it a good game? No, but it achieves that wonderful B-movie vibe thanks to terrible writing and voice acting.
The key to Rogue Warrior’s success is the voice work of Academy Award nominee Mickey Rourke. It sounds as if all his dialogue was recorded without his knowledge as he took the angriest dump in the world. There are more swear words per minute than any game I’ve ever played and it never loses its hilarity. The writing is just as bad and I have a feeling that the developers knew this game was utter crap due to the end credits rap, which consists of every Rourke sound clip compiled over a simple beat.
Don’t confuse my love for this game; Rogue Warrior is without question one of the worst games I’ve played all year, or possibly ever. The campaign lasts an hour and a half at best and the multi-player is a laggy joke. It would be a crime if you paid anything over ten dollars for this game, but when it eventually drops in price (likely in a month or less); it will be one of the greatest purchases you’ll ever make.
I don’t know how to score this game. If I were to score it based solely on how it plays; I would have to give it one sausage at best. If I were to score it based on my enjoyment while playing the game; I’d give it five sausages for its ridiculous nature. With all that said I feel generous and think this game deserves an extra sausage (or two) for the amazing work of Sir Mickey Rourke. Rogue Warrior is a treasure to the industry and I believe it will go down as one of the best worst games of all time.
- A special gift for all you sausage lovers: The End Credits Rap
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