You Want More...Are You A Whore?

That's right you little hos, there is more news to talk about and this isn't a trick. Though I know you "people" know all about tricks...and I will not be giving away any blow with this post.

So once again I will go quickly through a few bits of news I could care less about/don't lead to much, or any discussion. Spore went gold. Wow, I really didn't see that happening (really), but not really. X-Blades is a game we should care about? Yea, I don't know what the hell it is either, and honestly I'm perfectly fine with that. A Left 4 Dead X360 demo is "very likely" which is very awesome (quotes not needed). EA and EPIC working on some game together (awesome or disaster? you decide). Ubisoft is getting sued, but guess what...they can afford it so no big deal. Now on to the bigger developments, but probably nothing to go bananas over...yea, I said bananas.

Burnout Paradise will be getting the digital distribution treatment this Autumn, at least on PSN. While I am not, and will never be a supporter of digital distribution. I must say that this game is a perfect game to just have loaded onto your HDD. It's the kind of game that you can just pick up and play for a little bit here and there, which is basically the fundamental design for arcade games. If you want to tango you'll need two people, but that makes no sense. What does make sense is that the game will cost $29.99 when it arrives on PSN later this year.

NBA 2K9. I honestly haven't really paid attention to basketball, or basketball games for a while (last one for me was NBA 2K7). After seeing the teaser for NBA 2K9 I cannot wait to play this game. I know that beauty is supposedly on the inside, but Got Milk (G-rated "God Damn") does the game look gorgeous! I always loved the way the NBA 2K series played, but didn't feel like dropping another $60 last year. If this game's outer beauty is matched with inner beauty (Got Milk that was corny) then I will be pleasantly surprised. Look at this beautiful teaser below. My god it's pretty. I feel pretty, oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and...and *sigh* gay. Well I am pretty happy. Bitch.

What's New Papa Chew

Not Much, Lady Touch! If you are confused then I refuse to apologize. This is essentially just a little gaming "news" update with a few items of interest and awesomeness, wrapped by a Sicilian man who doesn't know left from right. You may be asking yourself, "WTF is this guy talking about?" Let me answer with this, "Who gives a shitaki mushroom!? I am awesome."

A Tiger Woods 2009 demo has shown up on XBL and a NHL 2K9 demo is supposed to be up on PSN, but is still M.I.A as of this writing. A sequel to Overlord has been announced for the 360/PS3/PC as well as two other games in that "universe" for the Wii and DS. Did you hear that? That was the sound of no one caring, except for the fact the developer's studio is called "Climax Studios" (I guess they already got there). The Japanese have been going googoo-gaga apeshit crazy for Tales of Vesperia, making it the fastest selling X360 game in Japan. Parents fear games more than alcohol and porn, but I guess that makes sense when the media calls a game like Mass Effect interactive porn...because that's exactly what I got out of that game. Note the obvious sarcasm as I begin to divulge into a few topics that interest me quite heavily. Oh yea, a new Lara Croft model has been chosen. Hurray?

The LittleBigPlanet "Box Art" has been revealed for the UK version (whether it will be the exact same for the US I do not know). I feel really mixed about this cover. I sort of like it, but at the same time there is something about it that just doesn't sit well in my tum tum (that means tummy). I don't know if it's just too busy, but something about it bugs me. Almost like a beetle bugging an Italian girl in Italy, but I digress...

Those retards a few weeks ago saying Castle Crashers would cost an oddly chosen 1800MS points can now eat their own asses, I mean words (yea, words). It has been made official that Castle Crasher will cost 1200MS points! And yes, I think that is a fine and fair price indeedy. If you don't believe me just click this link to see the truth that your Glaucoma kept you from seeing this whole time.

Below is a video of the intro for Mega Man 9. I can't explain the awesome nostalgic feeling that this video tickles my "old man" bones with, but it really is delightful. I am really getting pumped for this game and hope it lives up to the hype that has been building in mind. If you're an old geezer (I may not technically be "old", but I sure feel old) like myself you may get tickled in the same way, but the only way you'll know is if you click play and just "do it". Don't think, just do it. Also, you can find out some info about a few bosses (as well as screens) here.

When Cats Attack

When cats attack there's not time react. Don't sneeze, play Tenchu. Oh please, God bless you. A kitten of death, way better than the rest. You best be frightened and don't start smiling. This is completely next-gen and something you should send. To all the little ladies and the inhabitants of Hades. This cat will kill us all, worse than a zombie-filled mall. Keep your eyes open, there's no use in hoping. This shit's getting ridiculous, it seems awfully conspicuous. Just sit back and watch the vid, or end up wishing you did...

The Upcoming Week

I have been quite busy with numerous things relating to work, school and family matters, but expect to see some new content soon such as:

• Geometry War 2 Review
• Red Faction: Guerrilla Preview
• Braid Review
• And More Awesomeness!...including some new videos.

Donkey Kong + Legos = Awesome

There's not much to say besides saying that this...is...awesome. I love Donkey Kong and I love legos. Putting these two things together equals awesomeness on Youtube. Linkage of Source = Gizmodo.

A Lancer Replica...for $140

That is obviously a lot of money, but you can get a copy of Gears of War 2 for free when you buy it (or add an extra $10 and get the LE). So it really just ends up being another one of those legendary editions for $140/150. I have no idea who would want to pay for something like this. It is huge and not practical at all...unless you plan on making some low budget Gears film that is sure to suck the big one (and by big one I mean penis), I would not recommend this for you. I mean, honestly, where the hell would you put this thing.

"Trigger Activates Motorized "Chainsaw" Sound and Vibration Feature"

That just sounds like every Gears fan's wet dream! Not to mention it comes with a removable clip and uses the finest of C batteries (not included). What you plan to do with that clip should stay between you and the clip, please do not tell me a single thing...

Linkage of Sausage Shame.

Amazon exclusive Gears of War 2 Lancer

WiiMotion + ...Your Dignity

I have a big problem with WiiMotion Plus and so should you. To set up where I'll be going with this little article, let me say that WM+ is quite similar to the RROD of the X360. I know that this may sound odd initially and I may get a bunch of Nintendo fanboys all annoyed with their itchy panties, but just sit and listen.

When you think about the RROD issue you think that the X360 came out too early and that rushing to be first ended up leading to their hardware issue. Well WiiMotion Plus makes me believe that the Nintendo Wii came out too early because this is something that should have been included when the system launched. Nintendo is basically saying , "Hey. That current controller doesn't work too well and now we finally fixed it. Here, go buy it and let's split up our own market!" It's disappointing that Nintendo couldn't get this right from the start because it's not like they had to go out and develop new hardware (the Wii really is two Gamecubes together, right).

Click to read more ...

Portal On Crack With a Side Of Sausage.

This is how you play Portal while under the influence of sausage! So I think this pretty much proves that you should always play Portal while eating sausage. Note: I don't know if he was really eating sausage, but it is a beautiful thought.

...and yes, I don't know what the hell just happened either.

Why I Officialy Will Never Want a Wii Now

There's really nothing I can say...just do it.

The Wiipocalypse

Marvel vs. Capcom 3? = Please Do It

Apparently we may be seeing a new Marvel vs. Capcom game and we may not have to wait as long as we might think. At comic-con Kevin Feige, Marvel Studios President of Production, was asked whether we might ever see another MvC game and he said, "Yes. And maybe sooner than you think."

It seems like a no-brainer to make a new MvC, but there are plenty of stupid people out there...All I can say is that I hope this news ends up turning out true and I hope the game comes out soon (like tomorrow soon). Linkage to official post down below.

New Marvel vs Capcom?