A Brand New Low For Video Games

I hate you...oh God do I hate you!

This is possibly a brand new low for video games and I would not be surprised if Hot Topic started to sell video games just in order to sell this particular item. I can’t understand how this franchise can deliver enough content to fill a game and a full priced game at that; why isn’t this DLC for the Xbox 360 version or a budget title? The answer is simple: people are so irrationally infatuated with this franchise about sparkling vampires and cute werewolves that they’ll pay anything to get more content.

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The Sausage Dump #2: Super Mario Bros.

Welcome to the Sausage Dump! Episode 2 is now live for your listening pleasure and I can gladly state that the audio quality is much improved over last week’s episode. We do what we do best; talk about the things we know and love (or hate) and somehow bring it all together into a show worthy of dumpage.

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The Assassin's Creed Effect

You may be asking yourself this: What is the Assassin’s Creed effect? It’s rather simple and may soon be classified as an almost terminal disease, or I may just be exaggerating a tad. Having just finished Assassin’s Creed II and putting well over fifteen hours into the game; I find myself trying to play other games as if I were still Ezio; with his agility, his arsenal, and his ability to run up a wall as opposed to running into a wall.

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The Sausage Dump #1: Rob's Man-Crush on Jake G

The Sausage Dump was a name/segment I created for Distributed Failure a while back; it was a segment devoted to all things not game-related. In the past month or two Distributed Failure has grown larger and we have not had the time to get to The Sausage Dump in most recent episodes. This has been resolved by creating a brand new podcast conveniently entitled The Sausage Dump.

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iPhone: Do Not Press The Red Button Review

If you don't press this button, you can always press my button...

• App: Do Not Press The Red Button (v1.6)
• Developer: AppZap
• Price (at time of review): Free
• Release Date: 10/16/2009

Do Not Press The Red Button is just an app version of the now old, and somewhat tired, flash “game” of the same name. It’s hard to describe and best if you just experience it for yourself. This little joke first started in 2005, but I’m still enjoying it in 2009.

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iPhone: Kyper Review

An interesting concept that doesn't end up working particularly well.

• Game: Kyper (v1.0.4)
• Developer: NimbleBit
• Price (at time of review): Free
• Release Date: 5/7/2009

Kyper is all about getting to the highest speed possible, while avoiding asteroids at the same time. The unique aspect of Kyper is that in order to increase your speed, you’ll have to fly as close as possible to certain asteroids and avoid other asteroids at the same time.

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iPhone: Facebook Review

It's Facebook for the iPhone...and it's kind of better than the "real" Facebook.

• App: Facebook (v3.02)
• Developer: Facebook
• Price (at time of review): Free
• Release Date: 7/28/2008

I’m phoning it in with this review. Facebook for the iPhone is a terrific app and I happen to find it preferable to the “real” Facebook. I’m not really into the whole Facebook/Myspace world anymore, but this particular app motivates me to be a bit more active.

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iPhone: Doodle Jump Review

Doodle sorta rhymes with cool, and that reminds me of FUEL. Wait, what?!

• Game: Doodle Jump (v1.9)
• Developer: Lima Sky
• Price (at time of review): $0.99
• Release Date: 10/15/2009

Doodle Jump is a relatively simple game. The entire purpose is to get your little doodle guy as high as possible while dodging enemies, holes, and never missing a platform. The world is filled with power-ups and hazards and it’s never the same game twice. With all that said, Doodle Jump is completely reliant on tilt controls and thankfully they work almost flawlessly.

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Death of a Console: A War May Be Brewing

There are two things that scare me more than anything else. The potential death of my fully-BC PS3 and the potential death of my limited edition red Xbox 360. One of these two fears has become a reality and it just so happened to be the latter. My red Xbox 360 has received the E68 error code, which delivers one red light and hardware failure.

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iPhone: Seduce a SuicideGirl Review

 Question: Why are they called "Suicide Girls" when they never commit suicide?

• Game: Seduce a SuicideGirl (v1.0)
• Developer: SuicideGirls
• Price (at time of review): $0.99
• Release Date: 9/3/2009

I can’t say that I’m familiar with the entire “Suicide Girl” universe, but that’s not needed to find enjoyment from this choose your own adventure-esque game. Seduce a Suicide Girl has you working your way to a “sexy, 17+ make-out session with her (Zoli Suicide)”, but don’t expect anything too risqué.

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