The Bourne Conspiracy Impressions

I really thought that the Bourne Conspiracy would be a movie-licensed game worth trying, but from what I've played they need to do a lot of work before the June release. Pretty much every game mechanic ranges from "ok" to bad and I don't expect these fundamental aspects to change much for the official release.

Before I discuss what I didn't like, let me first say that the game doesn't look too bad graphically and the fighting system can be fun in small doses, but that's all the positive critique I'll give this game. Fighting seems to be a big part of the game and though it may be fun at times, there isn't really that much depth and soon it starts getting very repetitive. Sprinting is also big part of the game and actually feels a lot like the way The Club played (only worse). I am actually a huge fan of The Club, but that style of play isn't really suited here and doesn't even work that well. I find the shooting to be uncomfortable and just not enjoyable.

There are also a lot of quicktime events and I have never been a fan of that specific game mechanic. So I must believe that these developers have it in for me because there are quicktime events absolutely everywhere (fighting, running, driving!?). I can understand having such events in small doses at significant moments, but this game takes it to an extreme I can't say I have ever seen before in a game. They aren't even challenging, but just extremely annoying and add nothing to the game whatsoever. The last part of the demo featured a driving level, but it's obvious that these levels are their last priority. Basically these levels control like a driving level you would find in a 007 game (just worse).

I never thought that this game would be great, but I also never thought it would be this bad. I can't find any redeeming quality in this game and now it becomes nothing more than another movie-licensed game that I don't care about. At least I can appreciate a pre-release demo so that I didn't have to wait until June to find out this game blows. The Bourne title does suit this game though; I mean, this game was born to suck my sausage!

Updates Soon

I haven't posted much new content on here in a few days (due to a game called GTAIV) so expect some new content very soon! I am also in the planning stages of a second podcast called The Pixelated Sausagecast (how original, I know!). It will be a gaming podcast as well, but more focused on specific subject or news. I may just have an episode dedicated to a specific franchise etc. I don't know when, or how many I plan to do...but first I will be looking for a good site to host the show so I'll keep everyone updated on that.

Here are some things to look forward to in the coming week...

• Half-Life 2 (360) Review
• Half-Life 2: Episode 1 (360) Review
• GTAIV (360/PS3) Review

...also a very personal editorial on an aspect of gaming I would like to see. It could draw discussion which would be very welcome, I just hope I don't get any punks who need a beatdown!

And here are some pics for your viewing pleasure :)

Sausage! YAY!

hmmmm...I think this may be a glitch

GTAIV says Anal Burns

Well if you are a listener of Distributed Failure (if not..WHY!?) then you should understand why it's funny. If not I think anything involving the word anal is funny just like this. Sorry for the poor quality, I don't exactly have the means to pull out a high quality screenshot.

Congratulations, I hate you no more! :)

Well I just wanted to post and let people know that I do have my copies of GTAIV (yes, copies). I've put in a decent amount of hours and I will continue to add to them...I just have to say, "WOW, this is pretty amazing". I must say that I am very impressed with the Euphoria Engine and if you want to see something truly "next-gen" then pick up this game and be amazed!

...I will give my early thoughts on the game in a day or two, as well as discussing the differences (whatever they may be) between the 360 and PS3 versions. So stayed tuned for more on GTAIV and now everyone join me in saying, "Hooray!".

Congratulations, I hate you! :)

Just because I have other things to do and can't make it to a midnight launch for GTAIV must I really be punished for that? I go to bed around 11:30pm and can't sleep, but it's not because I'm thinking about how much I want to play GTAIV. I was quietly laying in bed thinking about PAX 2008 and a woman dressed as Wonder Woman randomly handing out rubber vaginas! Why you ask? I have no idea, but I was cracking myself up at the time. I thought about how much fun it would be to take a box of rubber vaginas and advertise for allgames by writing, "Allgames.com...It's better to be in than out". I would then take these rubbery vaginal pieces awkwardness and throw them at the unaware faces or people walking around the shindig.

I did eventually fall asleep; only to wake up a few hours later with the hunger of a fat kid who hasn't eaten anything consisting of carbs, sugars or fats. So I have to get up and get some cereal to quench this burning desire to eat like Oprah while depressed. After doing all that I find myself here, awake at 4:10 in the morning. I am wide awake and won't be getting sleep anytime soon. I do not have a copy of GTAIV, yet I see friends online at xbox.com "Playing GTA IV" and hope they all RROD (not really...well maybe a little). I hate you sleep. I hate you rubber vagina. I hate you fat kid hunger. I hate you Oprah. Most importantly I hate you agn because as of this writing you are playing GTAIV, "First Date - Attempts 1", and I am sadly here, writing this garbage and contemplating what I'm going to do until this afternoon. So yes everyone, I hate you!

GTAIV: The wait is almost over

I am more excited for this game than any game to ever come out before it! I will sadly have to pick it up on Tuesday because I will not be able to make it to the midnight launch (makes me a sad panda). I just wanted to make a post about the game that will consume my life and post some pics of my personal favorite GTA collector's items...my GTA3/VC Kubrick sets! They are awesome and I love them :D

GTAIV = Pie...I prefer cake, but since the cake is a lie I really don't want GTAIV to be cake...and it's a PS360 pie so go to hell all you bitch ass fanboys (I hate you)!

I love these sets...I just wish they made one for San Andreas...and GTAIV (Come on...you know we want them!)

I am the Champion

"CONGRATULATIONS! We are pleased to announce that you are one of the Reward Winners in the Old Spice® Experience Challenge sponsored by The Pocter & Gamble Distributing LLC. Enclosed is your Reward of a $100 Best Buy™ Gift Card. Terms and conditions on gift cards/gift certificated apply.

On behalf of our client, we thank you for participating in their promotion and hope you will enjoy your Reward.

D.L. BLAIR, INC.

Sweepstakes Administrators"

I finally received my winnings from the Old Spice tournament and I was originally planning to purchase a Nintendo DS with the winnings, but my plans have changed. I started to think about the extra expenses that would come with a DS, basically just another system with more games to buy. As of right now I will likely use the card to purchase my PS3 version of GTAIV and some other crap. I am just happy (and surprised) that I received it so fast! :)

...I've also toyed around with the thought of picking up Guitar Hero 3 for the 360, but I'm not sure about that...

Half-Life 2 done...only took me a few years

Well I recently decided to pop The Orange Box into my 360 because I have owned it since it was released and never actually finished Half-Life 2. I mean the first game (not the episodes)...I haven't even finished Portal! Though now I can finally say, "Yes! I have beaten Half-Life 2", and I really don't know what took me so long. For one I'll say that the story and atmosphere are great, but it is obvious that this is a PC game first (I really wish my PC was working at times like this). The game does control adequately on the 360, but when you look at other shooters on the market it just feels a bit stiff.

My end time was just under 10hrs, but it was a very enjoyable 10hrs and I have to say near the end you are given a weapon that makes you feel like one hell of a badass. It was a great ride while it lasted (too bad it was so short)! My one complaint is that I really like the character of Alex and just wish she had more screen time (I've been told you see a lot more of her in EP1). Also I just want to say that my friend (let's call him EltonJ) said that he didn't like Alex and thought she was unattractive. I think that is ridiculous because for one she is a real character and on a physical aspect I think she's much more attractive than most female characters! Not to mention she is just frickin' awesome! Though I must say I didn't like the fact that she kept on leaving me, it left me some serious abandonment issues. You fail EltonJ, you fail big time! Why don't you just ride your rocket to the moon rocketman (and don't forget your shades).

I will hopefully post a review soon for HL2 and I am currently playing through EP1. I hope to get reviews of HL2 and both episodes in the coming week (before GTAIV arrives).

Sausage Out!

GTAIV game-play footage this Sunday

*EDIT* Why wait until Sunday when you can get crap loads of leaked footage on Youtube (which are taken down after an hour and then reposted etc), or just watch a marathon of game-play footage on JTV (YOU SUCK JTV!) ...you bunch of impatient bastards!

For all of you who have been dying to see some actual game-play footage of GTAIV; you need only wait until this upcoming Sunday! G4 will have an exclusive sneak peak of the game at 12PM ET and it will be shown commercial free. I'm sure plenty of people will be excited to hear about this, but I am not happy at all. I really wish that everyone could have just gone into the game with fresh eyes and without ever seeing actual game-play. A gift for impatient gamers everywhere!

I personally will not be watching this and I find people who need to watch it crazy. The fact that the game will be coming out a few days after the footage is released makes me wonder why anyone would even care (really, Really!?). I'm sure all the people who watch G4 regularly will go bananas over this (yea, I said bananas), but I think people who are really looking forward to this game won't care at all. At least I hope I'm not the only one choosing not to watch this...

You can find the official info on G4's website here

Home = WTF Sony

Well it seems like all PS3 owners will be homeless for a little bit longer (or forever, who knows). Though I am not at all surprised by the delay, I really wish that Sony would just release a patch that gives us some new features. I am optimistic for Home and I understand that they want to make sure the "world" is fully functional when it goes live, but with every delay I care less and less. If they just gave me some of the simplest functionality that is in XBL; I wouldn't care how long they spent on refining Home.

I really do want Home to be good, though I can't help but laugh at these circumstances. I hate hearing all the PS3 fanboys (and girls) acting like Home is the PS3's killer AP and will take down XBL. Home is a very ambitious project, but the truth is we haven't had any experience with the software and all these delays aren't exactly good signs.

Even though I am disappointed with the delay...I think it's best that we all stand up and point at every single fanboy and laugh! HAHA...I hate you guys.