ARC: The PSP Go

I am calling this little feature 'Alternate Reality Contemplation'—ARC for short—because who doesn't enjoy an overly complicated title? The rough premise behind this feature is the idea of what would it be like if this or that—better said as "Dis of Dat" for those familiar with something relating to Jack—happened in a completely different way. For example, the idea of this initial feature is: how would the PSP Go have fared if it were released extremely cheap?

I am asking this because the recent news—essentially bringing the death of the GO—filled my mind with a ridiculous idea. I would love to see a world where Sony released the GO for a hundred dollars. You, me, and the community at large may think this is crazy, but with an all digital platform, why not try and get said platform in as many hands as possible? Sony controls the content; Sony controls the pricing; and you—yes, you—have no alternative way of obtaining this content—burn in hell, pirates.

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"Joining" the geohot boycott

I want to join geohot's Sony boycott, but I don't know how I go about returning this...

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Immediate Impressions: WWE All Stars (multi)

I hate WWE All Stars' art style. I don't want to start with a low point, but I'd rather get this specific disaster out of the way. I could understand the idea of exaggerating characters in an arcade-esque game, but exaggerating real life exaggerations seems a tad excessive. When a game makes Rey Mysterio look like a truck, capable of lifting The Big Show—which he'd be able to do if he had the right move set—I see a problem of giant, hulking proportions. I deliver immediate apologies.

Another minor issue is the roster, which has too many current "Superstars" for my taste. But at the same time, I haven't watched wrestling in years and have no way of knowing their actual popularity. You may expect me to move onto the positives, but I don't particularly have any; it's not that the game is bad per se, but it's just not for me. As previously eluded to, the game is essentially the NBA Jam of wrestling games, or better yet, the NBA Street of wrestling games. I make this comparison because I find the gameplay of WWE All Stars extremely reminiscent of NBA Street. The finishers feel like gamebreakers and the signature moves feel like turbo-fueled Street moves.

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Insult Ninja: M Night Shyamalan

Full comic with a whorified clickity-click.

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How do you play Full House Poker?

I continue to play my fair share of Full House Poker—though nowhere near as much as pre-release—and I am a tad curious as to how everyone else [you] plays the game. I don't know about you—the point of this entire brief article—but I never show my hand unless my opponent(s) follows me down the river. And by the "follow," I don't mean anything related to Twitter, though the idea of Jesus' followers using Twitter and spreading his word via trends makes me chuckle with every bone above my belt buckle.

Back to business, how do you play a hand in Full House Poker? Do you go all in like a madman, regardless of your card's quality? Do you accidently fold when you can continue with a simple check? Have you ever turned off your console in hopes your horrible hand/bet will not be counted? Have you ever thought a background sound was your doorbell and even convinced yourself to check? I want to hear your answers, but I don't deserve them without answering myself. So, without further ado, my answers are available with a little whorish clicking from you.

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LTTP: The West Wing

Is The West Wing a new or currently airing show? No, but that doesn't really matter when it comes to television anymore—everyone watches their shows on Hulu, Netflix, or waits for the seasons to hit DVD/Blu-ray nowadays. To the point, The West Wing was/is a fantastic show about politics, but not really, that people uninterested in politics—me, myself, and I—can enjoy.

I never elected to watch—yeah, I just said that—The West Wing when it initially aired because I was relatively young and had no interest in watching a politically-themed show. I still have no interest in politics, but I am older and said to myself, "if Aaron Sorkin can make Facebook interesting, then I bet he can make anything interesting." I can safely say that all my expectations were blown away, though I would assume explosions capable of blowing someone away would not be safe, not safe at all.

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Review: Homefront's (Multi) single-player campaign

This is essentially a single-player review of Homefront, but in a non-traditional format. I cannot review the game completely, as I have only played the single-player and currently don't have the opportunity to touch the multiplayer. How this review is non-traditional is that I am essentially writing in a bullet point style, with some very specific details and yes, potential spoilers. With all that said, let the "review" commence and be very afraid of spoiling your breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner.

This is my final warning: If you click that little link below, you may very well be spoiled. I do not give out any specific plot points—to my knowledge—but it is always better to be safe than sorry, especially during intercourse of the sexual kind.

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Insult Ninja: The Signed In Podcast

If you want to reveal the utterly underwhelming ninja-chopline, whore it up with a click.

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Review: Full House Poker (XBLA)

Full House Poker is the final game featured in Xbox 360's House Party promotion and seems to be the closest replacement to the sad demise of 1 vs. 100. I say this not because they play similarly -- one is a poker game and the other is a trivia game (guess which is which) -- but due to the fact that Full House Poker uses only avatars and features specifically scheduled, live events; however, these live events don't feature a live host or prizes. Oh yeah, you have to pay for Full House Poker too.

You may be immediately turned off by the inclusion of a price tag, but it would be a good idea to put that anger in a blender, add some Skittles, and taste your angry rainbow; rainbows fix everything. I say this because Full House Poker is actually a really good game. It is so good, in fact, that it just may be the best poker experience I have had on a console -- I am a rather larger poker fan. Does it do anything deliciously different or ultimately unique? No, it just does Texas Hold 'Em and it does it well.

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The iPad 2: my front-facing, broken camera [video]

I am not trying to hate on the iPad 2; I do enjoy it overall and bought one with  my own money after all. But, my iPad is not in 100% working condition and I find it hard to believe I will be the only one -- I would be annoyed beyond belief to be the only one with a broken front-facing camera. Does the functionality of the camera actually matter to me? No -- I have no use for either camera -- but that doesn't mean I am content with having a product from a company like Apple not work as it should. I don't really have more to say on this particular topic, but I will surely get this all resolved relatively soon. Below is a video taken with my lovingly broken, front-facing camera.

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