My First Impressions of Beyond a Steel Sighhhhhhhhhhhhh | FIRST!

No matter what you think of this episode, you can't deny my commitment to a bit. Speaking of bits, the little bit I'll say about Beyond a Steel Sky is that I played it for an hour and a half, enjoyed none of it, and was bored by most of it. I never played the first game and have no idea if that matters, but, ultimately, Beyond a Steel Sky left me wishing I liked it more than I did, but, sadly, not every wish comes true (and now I shall prepare for the abundance of comments comparing me to poo).

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Kungfu Kickball Is Like a Kung Fu Kick in the Balls | FIRST!

What do you get when you take a ball, kicking and punching, and scoring goals by hitting your opponent's bell? Kungfu Kickball, of course! With a great first impression thanks to fun, colorful art and good (at first) music, Kungfu Kickball seems like a good idea; however, despite solid controls and the aforementioned great art, in practice, it fails to come together into a satisfying experience. I tried and tried and tried, but in and hour and a half of play (against only the AI because no one is playing online), I never had a single second of fun. I want to believe it can be fixed with a few changes here and there, but given how poorly the game appears to have sold, I imagine we'll never know.

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The Dead Tree of Ranchiuna Isn't Dead, But It Is a Little Meh | FIRST!

This one is a bummer. A bummer because I've enjoyed past games from Tonguç Bodur, a single developer who's made some incredibly imaginative games, games so creative and full of heart that, even while rough around the edges, provided me with some of the most memorable experiences I've had in the last five years. The Dead Tree of Ranchiuna doesn't appear to be that. The heart is still there and it may get interesting near the end, but based on what I played, it was just a standard walking simulator in a "seen it before" environment with a story that failed to grab me. It isn't a bad game, just a forgettable one, and, coming from the mind of someone who's made some of the most memorable games I've played, it's hard not to be at least a little disappointed.

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Propnight is a Surprisingly Good Time and 100% Better Than Fortnite | FIRST!

I don't usually play asymetrical multiplayer games like Propnight, especially not horror-themed ones, but, you know what, I had a good time with Propnight. I may have only played it for a hour, but it was an enjoyable hour and, as far as first impression go, Propnight made a good one and one that has me wanting to go back for more. There's no telling if I'll still enjoy Propnight once the honeymoon phase is over, but it's already provided me with more good times than expected and, if nothing else, I think it deserves props for that.

Anyway...That's it and that's all folks. If you're feeling extra generous, you can become a patron, donate a little something, or subscribe to show your support for the site, the podcasts, the streaming, the videos, the art, and everything in between. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to consume any of the content I make and thank you for being a fan. I can't begin to express how much I appreciate each and every one of you. :)

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Propnight is a Surprisingly Good Time and 100% Better Than Fortnite | FIRST!

I Played Dysmantle All Wrong...And I Loved Every Second of It! | FIRST!

Dysmantle is apparently a very me game. I say this because I spent two hours doing what likely took every other player only 15-30 minutes to do. What was clearly the starting area, cemented by the appearance of the title card and opening credits upon leaving said area, took me two hours to get through (and I would have taken longer if I wasn't streaming the game and had a schedule to uphold). I spent two hours because I took the title to heart and dismantled everything. Every fence, every vine, every dog house...everything. Because of this, I can't say much about the game as a whole, but what I played, I absolutely adored. If my first impression is anything to go by, I am going to love the entirety of my time in Dysmantle. I can't say my first impression means you'll feel the same, but me-ness aside, I still think Dysmantle is a great game and 100% worth your time.

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Spirit Roots is Fine...It's Fine...It's Fine... | FIRST!

Spirit Roots is not a bad game, it's just...fine, and when it comes to talking about a game, there's nothing worse that trying to talk about a game that's just...fine. Why? Because it's...fine. It doesn't do anything special or memorable and won't impress you in any way, but it also doesn't do anything to overly annoy or aggravate you. It works; tt feels relatively good; and it's...fine. Spirit Roots is a fine game and, if you've got nothing else to play, it'll deliver a fine time, but just know you'll likely forget everything about it the day after and, if that's fine with you, well, then, that's fine.

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Tentacles May Suck, But Octodad Most Certainly Does Not | Attack the Backlog

On this episode of Attack the Backlog, Marc stays sweet and wholesome instead of tying hens while tentacling some holes, son, in Octodad: Dadliest Catch, a game where you play as an octopus who marries a human woman with two human children (who are never explained) and has a penchant for making a mess wherever he goes, delightfully so. Octodad originally came out on January 30, 2014, for PC and later made his way to everything else, from PS4 and Xbox One, to iOS and Android, and even the Vita and Wii U, before retiring to spend the rest of his days with his family on the Switch.

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To Quote the Bulletproof Monk, Reverie Knights Tactics Likes to Do A Lot of Talking | FIRST!

Reverie Knights Tactics does one of the things I hate most--it overloads you with story and characters right at the start, forcing you to take in the story before you even know if you like the actual game. I guess, in a way, this is a tactic of trying to get someone invested in a story so, in case they don't care for the gameplay, they'll still stick around because of the story. Maybe this works for some, but it's never worked for me. Games are games first and foremost and no story will ever make up for bad gameplay. Now, I'm not saying the gameplay of Reverie Knights Tactics is bad--it's not great, just kind of meh--but when I spend an hour and a half with a game and only play it for 10 minutes, if that, we've got ourselves a problem. Reverie Knights Tactics might be a good game, but it makes a terrible first impression and fails to give the player much reason to keep playing because of it.

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Just Like in Real Life, I Appreciate The Humans More Than I Actually Like The Humans... | FIRST!

QUByte Classics - The Humans by PIKO is a collection of two versions of the classic game, The Humans. Like many collections of old games, if you go into it without nostalgia, you'll likely end up appreciating the games more than actually liking them, which is how I felt after playing The Humans. Little was done to modernize the controls and little was added to make the experience less tedious--like a rewind system, which would have been great for fixing dumb mistakes. That said, the music is still great and, if you're someone who likes experiencing old games you've never played before, The Humans is worth checking out. Just remember that a spear is a spear and if you throw one at your fellow human, you're going to kill them, even if your intention was only to throw it next to them. Gotta crawl before you can walk and the same goes for spearing humans--you gotta spear a few before you learn to spare the rest, no cap, no jest.

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Is El Gancho the Worst Game I've Played So Far This Year? | FIRST!

Yes. Yes it is. El Gancho immediately grabbed my attention with great music and lost it seconds later as soon as I started playing the game. I only spent 15 minutes with the game, but that was 14 minutes more than I needed in order to know El Gancho wasn't for me. Great music and decent art are nice, but gameplay is king and El Gancho's gameplay makes King Joffrey seem like a sweetheart. The controls never clicked and I only grew more and more frustrated the more and more I played. I never like being this mean, but El Gancho is absolutely the worst game I've played (so far) this year and, sadly, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone; however, if you like good music, I would recommend seeking out the soundtrack, which is available on both Bandcamp and Spotify.

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