Insurgency preview: hold off on this Early Access shooter

If you're not going to do anything particularly new, at least do it well; that is a perfectly reasonable request, right? Insurgency is a new tactical first-person shooter available now via Steam Early Access and fails doing anything new or doing what it does well.

"But Insurgency is an Early Access game and only in beta; shouldn't you cut it some slack?"

No.

The developers are charging $19.99 for Insurgency and, if they are willing to take your money, discount or not, the game deserves to be judged to the point where one can ask the question: "Should I buy it?" and get an honest answer in return. Sure, I may not be the biggest fan of the concept of paying full price to be a beta tester in general, but I have also played other Early Access games--like Mercenary Kings--and would recommend buying them without hesitation, so it's not like I have some anti-Early Acess agenda I'm taking out on Insurgency. But what exactly is Insurgency and why isn't it worth recommending. (I should probably get to that by now.)

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Madden NFL 25 on iOS does free-to-play in all the wrong ways

Madden NFL 25 isn't just available for Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3--and coming soon to Xbox One and PlayStation 4--it is also available for iOS and, get this, it is 100% free! I know what you're thinking, "Free?! Oh boy, that sure is swell!" Well, before you get so excited you crap your pants, realize that this means Madden NFL 25 on iOS is a free-to-play game and it is a shining example of everything wrong with the free-to-play model.

A good free-to-play game should never require paying to play--it is called "free-to-play" after all--but, while it is technically viable to play Madden NFL 25 without ever paying, the experience is greatly inhibited without paying and, if you want to play online, your ass will get destroyed by those who paid to unlock better players and additional plays via blind card packs--yes, many plays are locked, some unlocking after a certain level is reached, including the ability to set up for a kick return on the left or right side of the field (WHAT?!).

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The Pixelated Sausage Podcast #044: One Ear Death Listen

This episode is all about grinding souls and punching people to death with one finger. First, I talk about the brand new iOS shmup, Soul Grinder [review], and then I finally talk about the amazing Xbox LIVE Indie Game, One Finger Death Punch. Anyway, if you're feeling extra generous, donate a little money or subscribe to show your support for the site and show(s), it's not free to host the site, the show; to make and record videos, and everything in between. Thanks regardless.

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Soul Grinder review: a shmup that's more frustrating than fun

I am not a fan of trial-and-error gameplay; the kind of gameplay that forces you to replay a level over and over again because there is no way of knowing what is ahead; a game more about level memorization than pure skill. Soul Grinder, a new shmup for iOS, Android and Ouya, incorporates such gameplay and ends up being more frustrating than fun.

I had fun with Soul Grinder at first, when the difficulty wasn't much of an issue, but all that changed quickly as I found myself dying because I had no idea an enemy or obstacle was going to pop up right in front of me. Feeling like I never had a chance is a feeling I never enjoy when playing a game and, near the end of the first world--there are three worlds of eight levels each and then a final boss battle--that feeling became constant. On top of that, the controls are just a bit loose and, in a game that requires quick reactions and precise movements, even the smallest of control issues is exacerbated.

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The Pixelated Sausage Podcast #043: Out of the Shadows, Into the Second Dimension

Y'all know I'm a huge Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan and, despite some worried thoughts, I was excited for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows. Well, the game finally came out today and I have some thoughts regarding what I played so far; what are those thoughts? Listen to the damn show to find out! Why would I give away all my secrets right here in the post?! In addition to TMNT, I talk about some Nintendo news and good ol' ads. Anyway, if you're feeling extra generous, donate a little money or subscribe to show your support for the site and show(s), it's not free to host the site, the show; to make and record videos, and everything in between. Thanks regardless.

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The Pixelated Sausage Podcast #042: Where Mercenaries Burn the Fronts of Kings

This here episode is the longest one to date and full of many crazy moments--what else do you expect? I talk about Mercenary Kings, my thoughts about Steam Early Access in general, a new gaming site called Frontburnr, and some other crap I can't remember despite recording not too long ago. Anyway, if you're feeling extra generous, donate a little money or subscribe to show your support for the site and show(s), it's not free to host the site, the show; to make and record videos, and everything in between. Thanks regardless.

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The Pixelated Sausage Podcast #041: Magicians & Looters & Drug Lords, Oh My!

Another week and another set of ridiculously stupid podcasts hosted by yours truly. In today's episode, I blather to myself about a little XBLIG you should play called, Magicians & Looters, as well as talk about Breaking Bad and The World's End (and getting prescription sunglasses for the first time). Anyway, if you're feeling extra generous, donate a little money or subscribe to show your support for the site and show(s), it's not free to host the site, the show; to make and record videos, and everything in between. Thanks regardless.

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Saints Row IV: running fast while running like crap

Saints Row IV is a fun game. It is a very fun game. But as fun as it is, all fun is lost on the Xbox 360 thanks to horrible frame rate that makes playing the game annoying to the point of dropping the mic and not returning. At times, even when not that much is happening on-screen, the frame rate will drop so low it looks like the game is a slideshow; and, on top of that, the game occasionally freezes up for about second when jumping around the city (and almost always while auto-saving--which happens every time you grab one of the many, many clusters). I've read and heard people brush these issues aside because of the game's story--which has the player doing their dirty work in a simulated world, Matrix style--but I can't ignore the shitty frame rate and other technical issues by using a nonsensical excuse.

Like I said before, Saints Row IV is a very fun game, but it runs like shit on the Xbox 360--I cannot comment on the PS3 version, but I've heard similar complaints and am currently waiting for confirmation. If you have a PC that can run Saints Row IV, buy the game on PC; if you have no choice other than the Xbox 360, feel free to pick it up, but don't be surprised when you're hit with horrible frame rate and other, smaller issues.

The Pixelated Sausage Podcast #040: Go Buy 4 Thrones Now

So, a little game called 4 Thrones came out today and it is a game y'all have to play. I could go on and on right here, but I recommend you just listen to this here show or read my review (or do both). Anyway, if you're feeling extra generous, donate a little money or subscribe to show your support for the site and show(s), it's not free to host the site, the show; to make and record videos, and everything in between. Thanks regardless.

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4 Thrones review: a solitaire game everyone needs to play

Do you like card games? More specifically, do you like solitaire? The answer to both questions is yes because any sane human being knows that card games are the best games and solitaire is the best of the best thanks in large part to a mountain's worth of different variations. Well, a brand new variation by the name of 4 Thrones has found its way to iOS and Android (sorry Windows Phone users) and it is one hell of a good time.

The basic setup for 4 Thrones is simple: you have four face-up cards on the top of the screen and, on the bottom, a face-up card next to a pile of face-down cards for drawing new cards. In the default mode, you have a random deck of fifty-two cards and need to place all the bottom cards on the top cards without discarding more than three cards. The game works low to high, with higher numbered cards being able to be placed on lower numbered cards and not vice versa--cards of equal value cannot be placed on one another either--except when Jacks, Queens, Kings, and Aces come into play; I could get into the nitty-gritty details, but an in-game tutorial does the job better than I ever could in roughly a minute, so just do that after you inevitably buy this game.

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