Why is Duke Nukem Forever so great?

This is the ultimate question—why is Duke Nukem Forever so great? Well, no one calls me the answer man, so I don't know why I'm still here, but that's really more of Joaquin Phoenix problem. Why is Duke Nukem Forever so great? I have some answers below and they may just surprise you with how unsurprising they are...

1. Is it?
2. It does eventually end.
3. American-fueled hentai.
4. It didn't take forever to come out.
5. It doesn't last forever.
6. So much driving and platforming.
7. It's respectful to women.
8. You can drink from a water fountain.
9. Rats + Microwaves.
10. You can drink alcohol.
11. You can't smoke...
12. ...but you can throw packs of cigarettes.
13. Kids this age probably love it.
14. It took this many years to cum out.
15. The above joke was probably cut from the game.
16. Greatest of all: this horrible post you've just read.