Pixelated Preview: Bulletstorm (X360)

I have a love/hate relationship with Bulletstorm. I love the gameplay, but I hate its personality. Which, unsurprisingly, is rather similar to the relationship I share with my wife. Sometimes, I just want to bury my foot in her poop passage. You are probably as confused as an eight year old with an erection (I'm trying to get a job on Bulletstorm 2), so let me take this moment to clarify. One: I do not have a wife, but I do wear a wedding band because I am an idiot. Two: that "poop passage" dialogue is actually taken, with small alterations, directly from the game. And that, that is the problem.

Bulletstorm's gameplay reminds me of The Club, only in a first-person perspective, with what seems to be some existence of a story. It is hard to construct an opinion from only one level, but the game seems to focus heavily on combos, creativity, and the inevitable high score. I love all of these elements and really enjoy playing the game; however, I still prefer The Club's more arcade-y feel. Even though I enjoy the fundamental gameplay, the dialogue drove me insane [in the membrane].

I admittedly have a stupid, odd, and weird sense of humor, but there is something about the humor -- and the way Bulletstorm uses it -- that really rubs me the wrong way; I am sure they have a joke for "rubbing me the wrong way" too. I feel hypocritical when I believe I would probably be content with this dialogue in the upcoming Duke Nukem Forever, but "butter-dicks," "fartin' around," and "buttholes of a planet" only managed to turn me off. Great, now I'm thinking about how one would butter toast with a butter-dick. Thank you, and good night.